I have built my career in three different countries and worked with people from all over the world. One thing that is undeniably clear to everyone I meet is the power of building a meaningful network. Your skills and experiences can get you the job, but your ability to develop and leverage relationships get you the promotion and growth opportunities.
Let me start by saying that as an extrovert, I draw energy from being with people. Moreover, I am good at public speaking and have no anxiety about meeting new people. With that said, I understand that meeting and approaching new people is uncomfortable and anxiety-inducing. However, most people understand the importance of meeting new people and push past the discomfort to make an effort.
As an expert in building relationships, I have honed my natural skill as well as learnt from my mistakes and those of others. Here are seven crucial do’s and don’ts of networking from scratch that you need to know.
DO's
1. Lead with Compassion and Curiosity
Remember that the people you reach out to are also human beings with loved ones, fears and concerns. Always start with, “hope you are well” or “hope you are staying safe and well.” Then express your interest in getting to learn more about their experiences or career journey. Your message should exude compassion and curiosity. You want to let people know that you care about their wellbeing and want to learn about their career journey.
2. Be clear about your ask and call to action
Remember that if you are reaching out to a hiring manager or manager to ask to connect, you are 1 of 100 people reaching out to that person. People prefer when you are straightforward and clear about your ask. A few examples of asks:
“I would like to connect and get to know about your career journey at company X so I can learn more about the skills needed to excel in this position” or
“I am currently looking for opportunities in communications at tech companies, and I would love to learn more about your experience at company X.”
“I am looking to grow my network in City X and connect with other Project Managers, and Person X mentioned you are a great person to get in touch with”
Always be clear about what specifically you are looking for in connecting with the person. Once you have expressed your ask, always end with a call to action.
“I would appreciate it if you and I could connect for 15 minutes over the phone/zoom/in person in the next two weeks.”
What action would you like the person to take after reading your message? People are more likely to respond to your message if it has a clear call to action.
3. Take time to be prepared.
Once someone has agreed to spend any amount of time with you to share their experience, it’s up to you to make the most of it. I can spot the difference between someone who is well prepared for our first meeting versus someone who is just winging it. Prepare questions about the person’s experience, how they can support you and the next steps you should take. Remember the acronym SEA, Support, Experience and Action. It is easier to be prepared once you have clear goals in mind. Check out our post on setting goals and go through our template for resetting your goals. Goals are always changing, and if you need help clarifying your goals or evaluating your career journey, be upfront with the person.
4. Be your authentic self.
There is no one else in the world like you. We are each unique, with our strengths and weaknesses, as well as our approach to building relationships. When you truly understand who you are and how you operate in the world, it will quell many insecurities. There are many career assessments and personality tests that I recommend that you take to understand your personality and ideal career path. Get in touch to find out more about which tests we administer.
As you reach out to people, you may find yourself able to identify with similar personality types. It is also essential to start with people who you have something in common with. Once you have similar interests or a person that you are both connected to, it is easier to be more authentic. I am a lifelong learner, so I tend to ask a lot of questions and take notes. So I always ask at the beginning of every meeting if it’s ok if I take notes.
5. Always be on time and consistent.
Once the person has agreed to connect with you, it is now up to you to keep that connection going until it becomes meaningful. Do be on time and stick with commitments. If you promise to send your resume the next day or you promise to send them an article of interest, follow through with your word. If you are unable to commit, let them know ahead of time and know that you will have to work very hard to regain their trust.
6. Practice till you develop your style and comfort level
Make it a point to reach out to about 8-10 people a day and meet with at least one person a week. Meeting people in person is the most ideal; however, a great alternative is a video chat. The more you reach out to people, the easier it will be to get over the fear of rejection or awkwardness. Once you are consistently building a network of connections, you will build up your comfort level. In the meantime, you can refer to online templates for reaching out on LinkedIn, until you develop your style.
7. Keep in touch and follow up.
Once you have made a connection either in person or over the phone, it is your job to maintain the relationship and build a more profound connection if welcomed. Do send a message every other month to check-in and keep the person updated on your progress. Follow them on LinkedIn, comment on their posts or articles, share articles or events of interest to them and celebrate milestones with them. Remember to be authentic about this, follow up in a way that is truly meaningful to you.
DON'TS
1. Misspell the contacts name or organization
Though this might seem obvious, it will surprise you to know how often it happens to me. Take your time when sending your messages to contacts and get the right spelling of their name or organization. I have received countless messages misspelling my name. Watch out for auto-correct and pay attention to spelling key information correctly. It shows your attention to detail early on, and in some cases, misspelled words send the wrong message.
2. Put the ask before the relationship.
Some people immediately ask for support when reaching out to a new connection. I have received messages from people quickly going into what they need me to do for them. Such words are a colossal DONT and come across as self-serving and are ineffective. Building a meaningful relationship that will be mutually beneficial should always be your goal every time you reach out to someone. Once that is your primary objective, you will send real messages and get over the awkwardness of reaching out.
3. Be vague about your reason for reaching out.
Many messages simply say, “I saw your profile, which was of interest to me, and I wanted to connect with you.” This message is vague and does not have a call to action. A generic message like this is more likely to be ignored. It is more effective to share your reason for reaching out. Don’t send blind LinkedIn connections without a personal message. Don’t send a mass generic email chain BCC’ing several people. To build a relationship, you should be clear about your purpose for reaching out.
4. Immediately ask for a referral.
Many people are willing to help others in their career growth and development. However, an internal referral can be a very serious ask. People submit referrals for people they know, like and trust. Some companies offer referral rewards or other incentives. Usually, people who receive incentives for references are more likely to provide you with a referral. The rule of thumb should be for the person to offer to refer you. Asking for an internal referral from someone you barely know who barely knows you is risky.
A better question to ask, only after connecting with the person at least three times, is to ask what the referral policy is at their workplace. “Do you know what the referral process is for your company X?” The person’s answer can give you a sense of the referral process at the company and how vital internal referrals are. The most valuable reference should be from a hiring manager or someone who works in the team for the position you are applying for. Remember that not all referrals are created equal, so avoid asking for referrals simply because the person works at the company.
5. Assume the person has the power to influence an outcome
To break this down, don’t make assumptions about a person’s influence at a company or organization based on their title. Sometimes people set themselves up for disappointment when they expect that making a connection with someone will lead to a particular outcome. Even if you meet with someone who internally refers to you for a job you applied for, it does not guarantee the desired result.
Some people make it a point to reach out to people with high titles because they believe that they have more influence. If you are seeking to build a connection with people in a company that you wish to work for, your goal should be to meet as many people as possible. Rather than merely focusing on meeting the CEO or Vice President because you believe the person has more influence.
6. Forget to offer your support
At the end of the first meeting, remember to offer your support. People often think that when they are job searching or looking to build a network, they have nothing to offer. Even when making new connections from a new country, you can always be of help to someone.
“Thank you so much for taking the time to meet with me, as I am in the field of X, please let me know if there is anything that I can do to support you in X.” Offering your support should come naturally, as you would have asked great questions to understand areas of interest for the person.
7. Forget to send a thank you note
Don’t connect, then forget about saying thank you. Even if you say thank you at the end of the connection, always send a thank-you note in writing. In your note, make sure you include:
- a recap of the value you got out of the meeting;
- next steps for you to take; and
- a call to action to move the relationship forward.
“Thank you for taking the time to meet with me. I appreciate the insight you shared about X and X. As discussed, I will send a copy of my resume or of the job posting at your company. Thanks for offering to introduce me to Person X at your company. Please feel free to send the introduction via email or LinkedIn at your earliest convenience.”
These seven do’s and don’ts should go a long way to improve your experience building a network from scratch. Engage in the best practices of networking as well as avoid practices that thwart your efforts to make meaningful connections.
Books to supercharge your networking skills.
Here are a few recommendations of books to develop your networking skills. Disclosure: Some of the links in this post included are affiliate links, and if you make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I recommend these products because I believe in their quality.
